By Christina Gray
Virtually an entire family stood together at St. Veronica Parish in South San Francisco for the sacrament of Confirmation on June 12. A veteran San Francisco police officer, his two teenage sons, and his niece were confirmed together, with two other family members serving as their sponsors.
St. Veronica pastor Father Patrick Driscoll confirmed Aaron Cowhig, 52, his sons, Conner, 15, Ryan, 13, and niece Makayla Moreira, 14 at the evening Mass. Cowhig’s wife, Wendy, sponsored Aaron and Makayla; her sister Lilly Garcia sponsored Conner and Ryan.
“We were happy that the parish was able to help us to go through this as a family,” said Wendy. When Aaron was preparing for the Order of Christian Initiation of Adults, St. Veronica faith formation coordinator Karen Guglielmoni asked him how he felt about getting confirmed at the same time as his kids. It’s not common.
“I thought it was a great idea,” he said. “The parish really met us where we were.”
The entire family was together and all smiles during a Zoom call with Catholic San Francisco a week later to describe their journey back to faith. This included their youngest child, Devin, 7, eager for his own sacraments, soon.
Aaron said he was baptized Catholic as a baby, but his faith life included “not much else.” He said that a series of circumstances over the past five years led to his decision to “restart his life as a Catholic” in middle age. This included the fears and uncertainty of the pandemic years, the cumulative toll of 20 years as a police officer, and his children’s growing curiosity about “what we believed in.”
Wendy and Lilly, likewise, had been confirmed in their youth, but their “complicated upbringing” didn’t make a consistent family faith practice easy, they said. The sisters’ close bond included having children of generally the same age, all baptized at All Souls Parish.
During the pandemic, Wendy and Aaron began talking seriously about going back to the Church. They both believed their kids were missing out on something. “I was scared that I was missing something too,” said Aaron. Though he wanted to get back in touch with his own faith, he felt it was especially important to be a model for his kids. “If I’m telling them it’s important, then I should lead the way.”
Around this time, Aaron was transferred off street patrol to a unit that supports police chaplains at the scene of a crime or other tragedy.
“A lot of things had made me question God because of what I had been seeing,” he said. “I went on a lot of calls that dealt with a tragic loss of life.”
He met Father Michael Quinn, pastor of St. Brendan Parish and longtime chaplain with the San Francisco Police Department.
“I was there because part of our unit has to be there with him,” he said. Watching a priest minister the faith to people in a time of need was transformative, he said. “It helped lead me back to my faith.”
Wanting to grow in faith as a family is one thing, but being able to is another. Wendy grew emotional talking about their son, Conner, who is on the autism spectrum.
“In all honestly, the main thing that helped us start this journey again is the fact that St. Veronica could accommodate special needs students in their faith formation program,” she said. The Cowhigs could not go together to church because it was “very difficult” to find a parish that could teach Conner the faith in a way that he could process.
St. Veronica had six children in the faith formation program representing all different shades on the spectrum, said Aaron.
“Connor wanted it,” he said. “He wanted to be part of it, and we all felt welcomed.”
Lilly Garcia said that when she last went to church on a regular basis, she wasn’t a parent. “Going now as part of a family is very fulfilling,” she said. “There’s eight of us together (including her mother, Emma), and it is very peaceful.”
St. Veronica pastor Father Patrick Driscoll told Catholic San Francisco that going forward, faith formation for special needs children or youth at St. Veronica Parish will be directed to nearby St. Augustine Parish in South San Francisco. Lorna Feria, special needs coordinator for the office of faith formation, confirmed that St. Augustine’s Parish has been established as a “center” for special needs faith formation under Sister Ruth Linaac, RVM, director of religious education. Other parishes throughout the Archdiocese are being trained and prepared to offer special needs faith formation in the future, she said.
To learn more, contact Lorna Feria in the Office of Faith Formation, ferial@sfarch.org, or 415-370-7320.
Christina Gray is the lead writer for Catholic San Francisco.
